The Ice Is Getting Thinner

So it's been snowing. Lots. And it's so good! And I learnt something yesterday. Snow is freakin' cold!! Who'd of thunk it. I woke up yesterday and bolted outside, barefoot, in an attempt to see what jumping into a rediculous amount of snow felt like. And ironically, I still do not know, due to the fact that my feet went so numb, so fast, I didn't actually feel anything. 28 hours later and my feet are still a charming shade of blue... (ok, I might be slightly over exaggerating on the colour of my feet, but still.)

The weirdest thing, is that even though it's been snowing the past two days, and EVERYTHING is completely white, it's super sunny today. Colorado, I do not understand you. How can it be freezing one minute, then sunny the next. You confuse me. By tomorrow, all this snow will probably have melted and I'll be taking the kiddies in shorts and t-shirts to the playground. Mental.

So it's official. I'm a winter girl. Gap sweaters are my newest best friend. We hang out lots. Steve Madden is also up there- props for designing the coolest ugg boots ever. And a big shout out to Walmart, for having everything I need in one place. You make my life so much easier.

I wanna live here forever.

"We're not the same dear, as we used to be, the seasons have changed and so have we... And the ice kept getting thinner with ever word that we'd speak." DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

King Of The Rodeo

Yesterday I felt like my mother's daughter. Total farm girl. Hello hay rides, carnival food & a giant pumpkin patch...

So Halloween is just around the corner, and I'm a bit excited. Get your GLAMPIRE fangs ready.

Yesterday we trekked up to whoop whoop and hunted for pumpkins to carve. I've never seen so much pumpkin and kettle corn in my life. Granted, I didn't know what kettle corn was until yesterday, but I still saw A LOT of it.

Anyways. I had to bite my tongue. Numerous times. Cause the amount of cowboy hats that were taken for a spin... Well, there was just way too many to count. But. I'm guessing those cowboys and cowgirls probably aren't sporting the freshly sunburnt look that I am. So that brings us to a grand total of: 1 cowboys, 0 Dan.

Dang it.

More halloween madness to come...

"Cowgirl King of the rodeo, let the good times roll, let the good times roll." KINGS OF LEON

Typical

2 months without my own car.

How typical Dan- I hate driving when I have complete access to one, and now, I'd kill to drive everywhere, everyday.

HA.

Apparently I'm getting one very soon. HOORAY. Til then, I'll continue to drive that giant 4WD, trying desperately not to get it impounded while parking downtown for Mutemath concerts!

(SEGWAY)

So. Mutemath. Last night. So insane. So good. So so so so good. Killer dance moves provided by various band members (and supporting band members, no one can move quite like As Tall As Lions) One of the most mental encores I have ever witnessed. So much broken equipment. Better use of a keytar than the steller Justin Timberlake. I kid you not. And if I closed my eyes (which I didn't, um, I wanted to SEE the show)I swear there were moments where I could hear Sting. Incredible vocal.

The twi-hard moment was pretty funny also. You see, Elisha pointed out to me a bunch of girls in the front row looking super unhappy. I'm pretty sure their eyes were saying "why am I here"
We continued to laugh at their lack of enthusiasm throughout the evening, and I predicted that the only reason they were there was because Spotlight landed on the Twilight Soundtrack. I was correct. Second song of the encore and these little ladies came alive. It was like they actually thought Edward Cullen was about to fall from the sky. And I'm not gonna pretend that hearing that song live didn't make me feel like I too could walk into a school as a ripe old vampire, sporting some kick ass sunnies, and just be uber cool at everything. But that didn't make it any less funny.

I love Denver Diner.

Life continues to be crazy. Unpredicatable. And just whatever. Here's to happy moments.

"Come on, can't I dream for one day, there's nothing that can't be done. But how long should it take somebody, before they can be someone... And I'm feeling like it's now or never, can I break the spell of the typical." MUTEMATH

Who Says

Today I'm reminded of why I'm so lucky.

For every jerk who thinks it's there place in my life to write an email detailing what they think is wrong with my family, there's a whole bunch of people who choose to write an email of encouragement. A text message. A "Ping". A facebook comment. A "like". A tweet. A skype chat, just to say they're there.

So many people contacted me in response to my last blog entry, and I just wanted to say thank you. The road really doesn't seem so long when you've got people standing by your side, walking it with you. (Especially when you're on, like, a million social networking sites!!)

Wait. Do I still have a MySpace??? Meh.

I can honestly say, I would not be progressing, growing, and just living without the amazing support of my friends. There is no one like you. You show me how to be a friend. And I thank you so much for that. In the last year I've had the amazing opportunity to discover who my true friends are, and what true friendship means, and I'll never forget a minute of it.

One of the things I'm loving about being so far away from you all at the moment, is that I'm really appreciating what I so easily took for granted. If I haven't said it enough, THANK YOU.

Janelephant, Sh-danners, Krystal-mas & Red. 4 of the bestest friends a girl could ever ask for. We've all been through so much together. You guys are everything I want to be in a friend. I miss you all so much. You have put up with so much, you actually rule the world.


"Who says I can't be free? From all of the things I used to be. Re-write my history..." JOHN MAYER

Wait It Out

So here goes. A serious one. You may not want to read this one. Just gotta get this out.

Well, the main reason I'm on the other side of the world right now, is to breathe. It's been such an intense couple of messed up years. And time is passing, it is getting easier, and for those of you standing back watching what is my life unfold, it may seem like I should be over it. Like I should be ok now. Like maybe it should stop hurting. And not to be brat, but if that's what you're thinking maybe you should stop reading (AND STOP SENDING ME NASTY EMAILS), cause guess what? You don't have a friggen clue.

Not to be a whinge. But. This is the purpose of my trip. To process. To forgive. To move on. To understand. To understand that I'll never understand.

And I am. I'm processing. I'm forgiving. I'm moving on. I'm understanding that no amount of processing, forgiving & moving on, will ever allow me to understand.

And that's ok.

So clearly I'm having a hard day. First tears in 48 days. Not to shabby for the overly emotional being that I am. It's all itunes fault. HA. Just when you thought you'd deleted everything, you realise, not so much.

But it's all good. Dealing with everything. No matter how much it hurts, I know that each day it's gonna hurt a little less. And it's ok that it's taking me so long. Cause I'd rather deal properly. No point pretending right? Right.

When everything first started going down, every morning I'd wake up & say "one day closer to the miracle"

Now I wake up & say "one day closer to leaving all this behind"

It's really just that simple. One day at time. And I'm so lucky & blessed to be having new experiences, I'm so thankful. And truly happy.

And at the end of the crazy day, I love my family. I have and will love them through everything. Nothing in this world could change that. And I really miss them. And I wish I had been strong enough to stay. But I'm proud that I was strong enough to leave.

I'm gonna be just fine.

"Where do we go from here? How do we carry on? I can't get beyond the questions. Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed. It cuts me with every could have been... Everybody says time heals everything, but what of the wretched hollow, the endless in between?" IMOGEN HEAP